


truth runs wild

by furyofthetimelords



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Halloween, M/M, Party, Social Media, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 11:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furyofthetimelords/pseuds/furyofthetimelords
Summary: “Can I kiss you?” Bram asks breathlessly.Simon nods, not quite trusting himself to say anything...At Bram's Halloween party, things go a little differently





	truth runs wild

**Author's Note:**

> This one is entirely self indulgent fluff, because I really wasn't in the mood for angst.
> 
> Some of the dialogue is directly from the movie, so I can't take credit for that, but the scenes do diverge from the movie ones.
> 
> Title from 'Heaven' by Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who (can you tell I've been listening to Blue Neighbourhood a lot lmao)

Simon knows it's a long shot. He's drunk, and probably not thinking straight. _As if I ever think straight_ , he thinks to himself and laughs. _I only think gay._

He glances as the bathroom door again. Takes a step towards it. Hesitates, and walks back to the sink, facing the mirror again.

Can he do this?

The idea that Bram might be Blue has been on his mind for days - he's almost been unable to think about anything else, constantly being distracted in class, or play rehearsals. And all over a comment about Halloween Oreos.

It might not even be true, he knows, but Simon's drunk and caution feels like it was thrown into the wind several drinks ago. Life is all about taking chances, isn’t it? He thinks about the way Bram took off his glasses during Beirut, and when they were singing karaoke together. _Maybe_ , he thinks. _Just maybe._

He smiles at the mirror.

“Bram, It’s me, Jacques,” he tries and frowns. It doesn’t sound right.

“It’s me, Bram, I’m _Jacques_ ,” he tries again.

“Barrack, it’s me, Jacques,” he says, and giggles at the rhyme.

But will it work? Simon wants it to - so, so badly. His life might actually depend on it.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Simon startles.

“I'm almost done,” he says and turns on the faucet, faking washing his hands. He can't let anyone know what he's doing.

“Simon?” The voice calls out. It's Bram! Simon's heart skips a beat.

“Yeah,” Simon replies, and turns the water off, drying his hands on the nearest towel. He opens the door, and then he's face to face with Bram.

“You disappeared,” Bram accuses. He doesn't seem that mad, however.

“I was just about to find you,” Simon confesses.

Bram smiles - it lights up his face. Simon thinks he kind of looks like an angel - ridiculous Hawaiian shirt and all.

Simon really, really wants to kiss him. It’s almost embarrassing as to how unable he is to think about anything else.

 _I hope he's Blue,_ Simon thinks. _Please be Blue._

He could ask. Right now.

But the words are caught in his throat.

“Come with me,” Bram says, reaching out for Simon's hand.

“Where are we going?” Simon asks. He's not sure why he's being dragged along like this, but he's not complaining. He wonders if Bram knows he's Jacques. Maybe he'll tell Simon first, then Simon wouldn't even have to worry about the fact he's currently unable to say the thing he wanted most.

Bram takes him to a bedroom, and pulls a key out of his pocket, unlocking the door. He has to drop Simon's hand in the process, which Simon feels a little sad about. He wonders if he can find an excuse to grab it again soon.

“Had to make sure nobody was just gonna walk in here,” Bram says with a smile. He picks up Simon's hand again.

Simon's heart almost stops beating in his chest. His mouth goes dry.

He really, really needs Bram to kiss him right now. It feels like, necessary, to his survival as a human being.

“You're beautiful,” Simon blurts out.

Bram pauses, and looks at Simon. His eyes are wide, and mouth parted slightly in surprise, like he didn't expect Simon to say that.

“Are you,” Bram says, the final part of the question is left unsaid, but he's looking at Simon's lips.

“Yeah,” Simon breaths. He feels lightheaded and dizzy in a way that's got nothing to do with the alcohol. If he were sober, maybe he’d marvel at the fact he’d actually just come out to someone. But mostly his mind is focusing on Bram’s lips.

“Good,” Bram says. He looks over his shoulder and pushes the door shut behind him. It clicks into place, and there's a pregnant pause between them.

“Good?” Simon echoes.

“Good,” Bram confirms, and steps right into Simon's space.

Simon feels like his heart is just about to beat out of his chest. He can't believe it. _This is actually freaking happening_ , he thinks.

Bram leans in, his mouth so close to Simon's that Simon can feel Bram's breath on his cheeks.

“Can I kiss you?” Bram asks breathlessly.

Simon nods, not quite trusting himself to say anything.

Bram leans in, carefully pressing his lips to Simon's once, then twice. Both times, Simon feels almost electric. He wants so badly to reach out and touch, but he's terrified of disrupting Bram and breaking the spell.

Thankfully, Bram seems to take the hint and kisses Simon with a little more intensity, his hands grabbing Simon's waist and curling into the fabric of Simon's shirt.

“Blue,” Simon says. It almost comes out like a sigh.

Bram freezes in place, and drops his hands from Simon's waist. Simon suddenly tenses up. Did he say something wrong? Embarrassment makes his cheeks flush.

“I,” Simon begins, unsure of what else to say. More than anything, he just wants Bram to go back to kissing him. He looks away from Bram, unable to meet his eyes.

“Jacques?” Bram asks.

Simon looks back up. There's this look in Bram's eyes, like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. It’s at that moment the full force of what Bram has said hits Simon all at once - Bram _is_ Blue!

“It's really you,” Simon says. He almost can't believe it. He got it right!

Bram's face breaks out into a smile. “You,” he says.

“Yeah, me,” Simon says, feeling his mouth stretch into a grin to match Bram's.

Bram reaches out again, this time he's pulling Simon closer and kissing him, but with much less hesitation than before.

Simon fully leans into the kiss - it's messy and a little awkward bc they both can't stop smiling, but eventually Simon melts into it. He doesn't want this moment to ever end. Eventually, the kiss does end, and Simon leans his forehead against Bram's.

“I hoped it was you,” Bram says. He's grinning widely in a way Simon is sure is mirrored on his own face.  

“Me too. As soon as you mentioned the Halloween Oreos at lunch the other day - I just couldn't stop thinking about it,” Simon confesses.

“Is that what gave it away?” he asks lightly. “I didn't even think about it.”

“I wasn't sure,” Simon replies. “But I'm glad I wasn't wrong.”

“Me too,” Bram says and leans in to kiss Simon again. This time, it’s a little less clumsy and Simon practically melts into it. Hands are reaching out, and mouths moving together. It’s practically heaven. Simon wishes he could stay here in this moment forever. Kissing Bram honestly sounds like a great way to be spending eternity.

“So, you're gay,” Bram says when he pulls away.

Simon's eyes widen. “Really?” He jokes, but them more seriously. “Yeah, I'm gay.”

It's probably the first time he's really said it out loud. The world doesn’t end, nobody’s screaming or looking at him in horror. It’s just Bram, his hands still holding onto Simon’s body, the quiet sound of breathing and distant chatter from the party below.

“I'm glad,” Bram replies. “I've been wanting to kiss you all night.”

“Is that why you knocked on the bathroom door? Couldn't wait?” Simon teases.

Bram blushes. “I just felt like I had to see you,” he says. “You just disappeared after karaoke.”

“I was trying to figure out how to tell you who I was,” Simon replies. “I needed a minute.”

Bram gives him another quick kiss. “I'm glad you've got some actual detective skills.”

“It was a lucky guess, more than anything,” Simon says. “I was worried about being wrong.”

Bram reaches out and grabs Simon's hand. “Are you going to tell people now?”

Simon stiffens. “Martin,” he says, blood turning to ice.

Bram frowns. “What about him?”

Simon glances over, feeling confused before he realises he hasn't told Bram the whole story yet.

“Um,” he says. He’s not sure how to bring this up. Will it make Bram hate him? Simon really, really hopes not.

“What?” Bram asks.

“Martin knows I'm gay,” Simon explains. “He wanted me to help him get with Abby or he'd out me.”

Bram's confused look turns into a frown. “How did he find out?”

Simon looks down. “I was in the library one day emailing you and I must’ve forgotten to log out. He took screenshots.”

“Oh,” Bram says.

Simon glances over at Bram. “Are you mad?”

“At you? No. I'm angry at Martin,” Bram says. “He shouldn't have done that. Does anyone else know?”

Simon shakes his head. “You're the first,” he says. “I need to tell Abby. And Nick.”

He starts to stand up, but Bram grabs his wrist. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I need to,” Simon insists, feeling a fresh resolve. He's going to fix things, right now. He's already lied enough tonight, and he needs to make this right. Nick and Abby were clearly meant for each other, and he shouldn't have let Martin get in the way of that.

He could fix this now, come out to them, maybe to everyone and figure it out from there. At least Martin wouldn't have a hold on him anymore. No more blackmail.

“Slow down, you're still drunk,” Bram says.

“And you're not?” Simon argues.

“I definitely am,” Bram replies.“But, I do think maybe you need to do this when you're sober. Coming out is big. And, I mean, are you ready for that?”

Simon slows a little. “I just don't want to hurt my friends,” he says. “I've already done enough damage. I lied about Abby having a boyfriend to Nick.”

“They'll understand,” Bram reassures. “They're your friends.”

Simon sits down on the bed. Bram sits beside him gives Simon a hug. “I need to tell them,” Simon says softly.

“You can do that,” Bram says. “But maybe when you're sober. Right now you're definitely drunk.”

Suddenly, there's a sharp knock at the door. Simon and Bram jump apart.

“Si, you in there?” Leah calls.

Simon looks at Bram, unsure of what actions to take. Bram glances at the door and places a finger to his lips.

Eventually, Leah goes away, presumably back downstairs. Simon feels a little guilty for not answering her.

“Go downstairs,” Bram says. “I'll wait here.”

“Are you sure?” Simon says. He kind of just wanted to stay with Bram a little longer, but Leah is looking for him and probably wants to go home.

Bram gives him a quick kiss. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” He says. “You’ll remember this?”

Simon feels a rush of warmth at that. With Bram (Blue!!) on his side, he feels like all of his problems are totally insignificant.

“I will,” he promises. He’s sure he’s never going to be able to forget this moment even if were to try. It’s too important.

“Good, now go,” Bram says, and walks over to unlock the door.

“Bye,” Simon replies, and gives Bram what he intends to be a brief kiss, but actually ends up going on for a little longer when Bram reaches up and tangles his fingers in Simon’s hair.

“Okay, you really need to go now or I'm not gonna start talking you into staying,” Bram says a little breathlessly. He drops his hands from Simon’s head.

Simon winks, then opens the door slightly, on the lookout for anyone, but nobody is upstairs. He waits a beat before slipping out of the room.

Going back down to the party felt like walking into a whole other world. The loud music and chatter coming from people feel at odds with the peace and quiet of Bram’s bedroom.

It hits him all over again that he kissed Bram. Bram Greenfeld of the cute smile, perfect soccer calves and love for Oreos; Bram who was Blue all along.

Simon can't help the ridiculous grin on his face.

He looks around for Leah, but doesn't see her in the crowd of people. She’s probably outside, checking to see if he’s out there. He makes a move towards the hallway.

Suddenly, Martin Addison of all people stumbles up to him.

“What do you want now?” Simon asks, a little more harshly than intended.

Martin has a funny look on his face. “I don't feel so good,” he says, and proceeds to vomit on Simon.

“What the fuck, Martin,” Simon says. His all-white is stained bright pink from whatever Martin was drinking.

“I'm so sorry,” Martin gets out. If it were anyone else, Simon might've felt a little sympathetic, but in the moment he's just angry. This is the guy who nearly fucked up his chances with Bram. And now has ruined his halloween costume.

“Simon, there you are!” Leah says, materialising out of the crowd and pulls him away from Martin. “Come on, let's get you out of this shirt.”

“My wig,” Simon says suddenly remembering he was wearing it at one point in the night.

“I've got it, don't worry,” Leah says and holds up a plastic bag. “Let's find you something we can put your shirt in.”

//

Simon sways against Leah as they walk home, feeling a strange mix of emotions. On one hand, he's still sort of riding the high of kissing Bram, but on the other there's Martin’s vomit on Simon's shirt and the whole issue of blackmail.

He wants to tell Leah all about it. She'll probably have some good advice. Leah is always good with advice.

“So, where were you before?” Leah asks as they're walking along. “You practically disappeared.”

“I was around,” Simon says vaguely. He's not sure if he wants to mention anything about Bram yet. He’s not even sure if Bram’s ready to come out.

“I looked everywhere,” she said. “I thought you'd left without me.”

Simon stops at the tone in her voice. “I would never,” he says, and pulls her into a hug.

There's a small smile on her face now. “Thanks, Si.”

They arrive at Simon's house. The lights are still on downstairs.

“My parents are still up,” he says. He hadn't even thought about that happening.

“Oh _shit_ ,” Leah says, and grabs the bag full of vomit-shirt and tosses it into some bushes. “Get that tomorrow.”

“They'll know I'm drunk,” Simon says. His parents are usually pretty cool, but this might be a bit much for them.

“Just keep quiet, okay?”

The get past Simon’s parents pretty quickly, Leah chatting to them as Simon does his best to sneak upstairs so they don’t see how drunk he is. It’s almost awkward when his dog Bieber tries to lick the vomit off his shoes, but his parents don’t notice.

Simon feels almost better when he gets into bed. He's exhausted, and ready to sleep. There’s a lot on his mind - Bram, Blue, Martin and even a little bit about coming out.

“Do you ever feel weird?” Leah says. She’s lying on her mattress on the floor, head leaning against the end of Simon’s bed while Simon is lying in the opposite direction so their heads are right next to each other.

“Weird?” Simon says.

“Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I’m always on the outside,” Leah explains.

“What do you mean?” he asks and rolls over to prop himself up on his elbows.

“Like tonight you know? Like, I was at that party and it was fun, but it kinda felt like I was watching it from across the room,” she explains. “I don’t know, there’s this invisible line that I have to cross to really be a part of everything and I just can’t ever cross it.”

Simon nods. “I feel that was sometimes, too,” he says. He thinks about how many barriers he’s set up, all those things that keep him from ever fully expressing himself. He wonders if he should come out to Leah now.

“Not tonight you didn’t,” Leah says with a laugh.

“Yeah, I was trying something,” he says with a shrug and a small smile, thinking back to when he was kissing Bram.

“Yeah, sometimes I think it’d be so much easier to be one of those people who can just take a few shots and then hook up with the closest person. Yeah, I guess i’m just unlucky”

“Unlucky, why?” he asks. Leah’s never struck him as the shy type. She might not be the most social person, but he’s never thought of her as the type to be unlucky in love. So what if she hasn’t dated much, especially recently? It’s not like he’s done much of that either.

“Because I’m not a casual person,” she replies with a small shrug. There’s something about her tone that Simon can’t decipher.

“What kind of person are you?” he asks.

“I think I’m the kind of person who’s destined to care about one person it nearly kills me,” she says.

“Me too,” Simon says with a smile. He thinks about Bram, and how close he’s gotten to him when they were just Jacques and Blue. He wants more - now he knows who Bram is, he doesn’t think he can just go back to emails. He wants everything with Bram - boyfriends, kissing, going on dates, holding hands, the whole deal.

Leah looks away. “Si,” she says softly and looks back up at him. There’s an unreadable expression on her face.

“Yeah?” he says.

Leah takes a deep breath. “I love you.”

Simon frowns. “I love you too,” he says, a little confused. “You’re my best friend.”

“No, I’m _in_ love with you,” Leah says firmly, looking him right in the eye.

Simon suddenly gets it. _Oh. Oh no_ , he thinks. He has no framework of how to deal with this properly. The last time a girl said that to him he’d run away to the bathroom and texted his mom to come and pick him up.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out.

Leah looks taken aback. “Really?” she says. Simon immediately wishes he could just sink into the ground.

Simon looks away. “Yeah,” he replies.

“Oh,” Leah says. “Well, thanks for telling me.”

“Are you shocked?” he says.

Leah shakes her head. “I guess it makes sense,” she says. “You were always so picky about girls, and you haven’t dated anyone in a long time.”

“Do - do you hate me?” he asks. He hates how it’s even a question he has to ask, but he has to know.

“No, of course not,” Leah says, and sits up so she can give him a hug. “You’re still my best friend.”

Simon bursts into tears.

“Si, it’s okay,” Leah says and hugs him tightly. Simon sobs harder. He’s not sure why he’s so emotional, maybe it’s just the relief of finally coming out to Leah, or just all the alcohol.

“I - I wasn’t sure how you’d react,” he says once he’s a little more composed.

Leah smiles at him. “I’m fine with it, I promise you. I’m just glad you told me. Does anyone else know?”

Simon nods.

“Were you the one who posted that thing on creek secrets?”

Simon shakes his head. “I did respond to it,” he says.

“So, you’ve been talking to this guy,” she says.

“Is it weird if I talk about it?” he says, suddenly remembering her confession.

“It’s okay, Simon,” Leah says. “I might be a little sad, but I get it. You’re not at fault here. It’s probably some rite of passage to fall for a gay guy.”

Simon smiles. “Well, I’ve been talking to him for a while now. He’s so funny, and smart, and just kind of gets it. I feel like I can tell him anything.”

“You like him?” Leah says.

Simon nods. He wonders if he should tell Leah he knows who it is, but Simon hesitates. He’s not sure if Bram would want anyone else to know just yet. He doesn’t want to out him.

“Yeah, I like him a lot,” he says.

“Do you know who he is?” she asks.

“I do,” he says. “But I don’t know if he wants anyone else to know.”

“Is that where you were at the party? Was he there?” Leah asks.

Simon nods. He doesn’t trust himself to speak right now without spilling everything.

“He was!” she says excitedly. “You kissed him?”

Simon blushes. The moment feels a little surreal. “Yeah,” he says.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Si,” Leah says. “You deserve it.”

“I need to tell Abby and Nick,” he says, remembering Martin.

“You can do that in the morning, okay?” Leah says.

“No, I need to. I lied to them,” he says.

“Lied, how?” she asks. Leah looks confused.

So, Simon tells her the whole story - when Martin discovered his emails, and the ensuing blackmail and his attempts at keeping Abby and Nick away from each other at Bram’s party. He feels weird talking about it, but it feels good to get it out there.

“I’m going to kill Martin myself,” she says when he’s done.

“You’re not mad?”

“No, I get it,” Leah says. “You should talk to them both tomorrow, though.”

“I will,” Simon vows. He’s not sure how he’s going to fix it, but he needs to. Martin can’t win this - Simon refuses to give him the satisfaction.

“Good,” Leah says. “Now get some sleep.”

Simon sleeps well that night.

//

Simon wakes up feeling less awful than he expects - the absence of an awful headache is a pleasant surprise. But his mouth does feel dry and gross, so he sits up in bed. He looks over to Leah, who’s still asleep on the floor and suddenly the conversation from last night comes flooding back to him.

 _I came out to her_ , he thinks, feeling surprised at himself. He almost can’t believe it.

Suddenly, his phone buzzes - an email notification. It’s from Bram, sent half an hour ago.

Simon smiles, remembering their time together from the night before. The email is short, just a simple _are you ready to talk? Call me when you get this._ with Bram’s number below.

Simon saves it as a contact to his phone. He almost adds a heart emoji when he’s typing out Bram’s name for the contact, but he doesn’t want to assume anything. However, he does hope he won’t need to worry.

He check the time - it’s after ten, so he doesn’t feel too weird about sending a text.

 _Hi. I’m awake now_ , he messages.

Bram responds almost instantly. _Morning. How are you feeling?_

_Good. I feel better than I thought I would, but I guess kissing you had something to do with that. ;)_

Simon hits send before he can think about the emoji too much. He hopes it isn’t too much.

_I’m glad. :)_

Simon can't help his ridiculous grin at the response, but he has to focus: he needs to know what Bram wants.

_So, I guess we should talk about this._

_Yeah._ Bram types. There’s a pause, and then another message. _I don’t want to hide, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be out yet either._

 _I get that. I don’t want things to be weird between us. To be clear, I want to date you, and all that._ Simon means it. He knows it’s shitty to have secrets like this exposed (even if it was only Martin who found out, he shudders to think what it would be like if the whole school had found out at once).

 _I want that too_ Bram replies. Simon’s heart skips a beat. He almost can’t believe his eyes.

_So, you want to be my boyfriend?_

_Of course I do, Simon. I’ve had a crush on you since forever._

Simon blinks in surprise. Bram’s liked him for _forever_? He grins like a fool. Bram likes him! And wants to be his boyfriend. He wants to shout it from the rooftops, and tell everyone, but he holds back.

 _Really? I’ve thought you were pretty cute for a long time too_ , Simon writes. He’s often done his best to repress any sort of Feelings for anyone that’s his friend, but he’s admittedly always thought Bram was attractive. It was an objective fact - the sky is blue, Bram is ridiculously hot. So he'd never thought about it too much before, but after talking to 'Blue’ and kissing Bram Simon was _definitely_ into Bram. No question about it.

 _You’re making me blush_ , Bram types.

 _I try my best. But on a more serious note, we don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready._ Simon types.

_Thanks. And the same goes for you too - I mean, are you ready to come out?_

_I don’t know, but I want to be. I’m sick of having to lie all the time_. Simon doesn’t realise how true his words are until he says them - sure, he’s hated the idea of Coming Out, but now he’s thinking about it, he’s done with lying. Maybe he won’t do it right now, but he doesn’t want to wait forever.

He’s spent so long dodging questions about girls, lying when he says he doesn’t like anyone and keeping this secret to himself. Being at that party, kissing Bram, and all of it just reminded him about how much he’s missing. He wants to come out.

 _I’m going to do it. Soon_ , he writes, both as a promise to himself and Bram. He’ll start with Abby and Nick (since Leah already knows) - then his parents, later. Maybe other people. He’s still not quite sure how to get Martin to end his blackmailing without forcing Abby to date him or letting himself get outed. Neither option is preferable.

His phone buzzes with another text. _Whenever you do, I’ll be there to support you_ Bram texts. Simon feels the grin spreading across his face as he reads the message.

Leah stirs, and sits up. “Morning,” she says. “You look pretty happy.”

“I am,” Simon says, and thinks of his conversation with Bram. “I don’t feel hungover either.”

“That’s a surprise. I thought you’d be practically dead right now,” Leah says. “You remember last night?”

She looks a little unsure, as if she's worrying about having to repeat her confession from the night before.

“Yeah. I remember it all,” Simon says. He really doesn't think he could've forgotten.

“Oh, good,” she says, relieved. “I didn’t want to have to explain it to you.”

“Well, you didn’t,” Simon says.

There’s a pause between them.

“So you know I’m gay,” he says. It’s probably the third time in his life he’s ever said it out loud to another person.

“I do, yes. And like I said last night, it doesn’t change who you are, you know that.”

Simon smiles at her. “I do,” he replies, once again feeling lucky to have a friend like Leah in his life.

“So, are you going to tell your parents?” Leah asks. “Or is it going to be a secret?”

Simon nods. “I will, eventually,” he says. “I don’t know if I wanna tell them now. I know they’d be fine with it, but I guess I just need a few days before I’m Out to the world.”

“Nobody says you have to - I mean, I told my mom first but -” Leah says and then stops herself.

Simon looks at her. “Told your mom what?” he asks.

Leah sighs. “Well, I guess since you told me, I should say it,” she says and takes a deep breath. “I’m bisexual,”

“Oh, wow,” Simon says, surprised. He didn’t expect that. “Guess I’m not the only one in our group.”

Leah smiles. “Yeah. I wanted to tell you all - for so long, but I guess I didn’t know how.”

Simon nods - he gets that. There’s something about finally saying something like this to people he’s so close to that used to feel too enormous. Like if he’s said anything, it would all change. Now, having told Leah (and Bram), he feels like the rest of it will be just a little bit easier.

“How long has your mom known?” he asks.

“Since I was eleven,” Leah says. “I haven’t told my dad yet. But I guess it’s not like he’s around much anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Simon says - he’s known not everything has been perfect with Leah, but he’s never asked too much. Like he’s never really asked why Abby never talks about her dad. It strikes him as a little odd to realise there’s so much he and his friends have never told each other.

“Yeah, thanks. I guess I just didn’t want things to change,” Leah says.

“I get that - coming out has always felt like this big thing to me, like if I said anything I wouldn’t get to be me anymore. People wouldn’t see me - just the gay kid.”

“Maybe it’s not such a bad thing,” Leah muses. “I mean, I don’t want to be solely my sexuality, but maybe it’s time I stopped hiding it. Maybe not today, but soon.”

“I was thinking about coming out too,” Simon says. “I was talking about it with Blue, before all of this, but I guess maybe now’s the time I start.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that,” Leah says, shifting awkwardly. “Is it weird? Me, being in love with you?”

Simon shakes his head. “It doesn’t have to be,” he says. The whole thing is still a bit surreal - Leah’s always just been _Leah_ to him it’s weird to think about her being in love with him. But he doesn’t want to lose her friendship.

“I’m glad,” she says. “It would’ve sucked to lose you as a friend.”

“You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried, Leah,” Simon replies. He means it - he doesn’t want to lose her as a friend, or any of them. They’re the people he loves most in the world and letting them go feels incomprehensible.

Leah gets up out of bed and gives him a hug. “Thanks, Si,” she says. He hugs her back tightly.

“So, are you telling Abby and Nick?” she asks. “I mean, about the rest of it?”

Simon nods. “I said I would,” he says. “I can’t keep lying to them because of Martin.”

“We’ll figure it out, Si,” Leah says. “You’re not doing this alone.”

Simon gets up off the bed and hugs Leah tightly.

//

“Are you feeling nervous?” Leah asks as Simon pulls into Nick’s driveway. He’d nearly done this alone, but Leah insisted she wanted to come too saying she’d come out with Simon.

“A little, yeah,” he says. Nick appears at the door and gives Simon a wave.

“So, what’s going on?” Nick asks.

“We’ll explain after I’ve got Abby,” Simon says.  

“Did you two hookup or something?” Nick asks, glancing between Leah and Simon.

Simon shakes his head. “Nope,” he replies.

“Definitely not,” Leah says, although her cheeks are a little red. Simon wonders if Nick knew about her feelings for him.

They drive over to Abby’s in a heavy silence. Simon almost wants to say something now, just to get it over with, but he also isn’t sure he wants to continue to repeat the story.

“Hi,” he says when Abby gets into the car.

“So, what couldn’t you say that you didn’t want to tell us on the phone?” she asks, buckling in. She looks legitimately concerned, and Simon feels even worse for what he’s about to tell her. Abby has been nothing but a good friend to him, and he tried to pawn her off on Martin, and stop Nick from crushing on her. “Where are we going?”

“Just to the park,” Simon says. He figured it was probably the most neutral location - better than the usual WaHo. He didn’t want a crowd, and Leah agreed.

They drive in silence, Simon feels a little bad about how he’s dragging this out, but he figures an open space is better than his car. He takes a deep breath as they arrive, and glances over at Leah, who looks equally nervous.

“So, are you going to tell us now?” Abby says as they get out of the car.

Simon nods, and takes a deep breath. “I’m,” he begins, the words sticking in his throat. He swallows and tries again. “I’m gay.”

There it is. The words are out there.

He looks over at Abby, who’s smiling. Nick looks a little dumbstruck.

“I’m bisexual,” Leah adds. “I figured if Simon was coming out, I would too.”

“Both of you?” Abby asks, eyebrows raised. Simon and Leah nod.

“Yeah,” Simon says.

“I’m proud of you both. I was worried it’d be something bad,” Abby says.

“Yeah, I’m happy for you both,” Nick says.

“Did you know?” he asks. Had she been waiting this whole time for him to come out? What had given him away?

“No, but it’s still a pretty big thing,” Abby says. “I’m just glad you felt like you could tell us.”

“So, while this is great and all, don’t get me wrong, is that what you bought us out here to tell us?” Nick asks.

“There is more,” Simon says, an awful feeling stirring in his gut. Part of him wants to make up some other lie, but he needs to tell them. It’s already clear Nick and Abby like each other, and already what he’s done has just kept them apart.

“More?” Abby asks. “What’s going on?”

“Martin is blackmailing me,” Simon says in a rush.

“Martin?” Abby asks. “About what? Does it involve Leah?”

Leah shook her head. “This is Simon’s thing,” she says. “I wasn’t involved.”

“He found out I was gay - you know that creek secrets post about the gay kid?” Simon says. “Martin found out, and he wanted me to get you to date him or he’d out me.”

There it is. He feels a little lighter for having said it, but what will Nick and Abby say?

“Is that why you told me about that college boyfriend?” Nick asks. Leah gives Simon a look.

“My what?” Abby says. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Nick turns to her. “Simon told me you had a boyfriend - some older guy so I wouldn’t ask you out.”

“Oh,” Abby says, blinking. “Nick.”

“I’m sorry I lied,” Simon says. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment between Nick and Abby, but he has to say it. Needs to let them know he didn’t mean to hurt either of them.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Abby says, pursing her lips. “I’m the only person who gets to decide who I date.”

“I know,” Simon says, wringing his hands. “I just didn’t want him to out me. You know how people are with Ethan - I didn’t want that to happen to me.”

Leah grabs his and squeezes it reassuringly.

Abby’s expression softens. “Oh, Simon,” she says, and gives him a hug.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” Nick asks. “About any of it - not just the blackmail stuff.”

“I didn’t know how to,” Simon says.

“You knew we’d be cool about it, right?” Nick says. “I mean, I’m not like, homophobic or anything, right?”

Simon looks away. “I knew you all seemed cool, but I worried it could go wrong,” he says. “Sometimes people surprise you.”

“I just didn’t know how to bring it up. It never seemed like a good time,” Leah adds.

“Well, I hope you know if anyone has a problem with either of you, I’ll back you up,” Nick says. “I can probably even get some of the soccer team to back me up if I need to.”

“Me too,” Abby says.

“Thanks guys,” Simon says, blinking back tears.

“You’re the best,” Leah says and hugs Nick and Abby. “Get in here Simon.”

Simon leans into the group hug, feeling comforted by the fact everything seems to have worked out. He isn’t sure how he got so lucky, but here he is.

“So, tell me, what’s with this email guy?” Abby asks when the hug ends. “I wanna hear everything.”

//

“I came out to my friends today,” Simon tells Bram on the phone later that day.

“Wow, I’m proud of you,” Bram says. “I told my mom.”

“No way - go you,” Simon says with a smile.

“Yeah, I guess I was feeling a little brave.”

“How did she take it?”

“She was surprisingly cool - although she did launch into a really awkward sex talk,” he says with a laugh.

“At least she’s looking out for you,” Simon says.

“That she is,” Bram says. “She did ask if I had a boyfriend. I might’ve said yes.”

Simon can’t help but smile wider. He probably looks like a fool with how wide his smile is. “Oh, yeah?” he says, feeling a little thrill at Bram saying the word _boyfriend_ out loud.

“Yeah,” Bram says. “I didn’t tell her who you were, just that you existed, but she's definitely insistent on meeting you regardless.”

“I’d like to meet her sometime,” Simon says. He's never really done the whole “meet the parents” thing, not in his hetero-dating days so it feels exciting.

“I can’t wait,” Bram says. “How did it go with your friends?”

“They were actually surprisingly cool,” Simon says. “Abby was kind of mad about the whole Martin thing. But I get it. I did lie to her.”

“You were doing the best in your shitty situation,” Bram says. “I can’t say I blame you.”

“That’s probably too much credit,” Simon says. He really doesn't think he did the right thing. A better person would've just stopped Martin from even starting the blackmailing. Or, been smarter about internet privacy.

“You could’ve done a lot worse. But I’m proud of you.”

“I wanted to tell them who you were,” Simon confesses. “I didn’t, but I mean, I just want to tell people.”

“I wouldn’t mind, if you told them,” Bram says. “I know Nick’s a good guy, and Leah and Abby seem cool.”

“Well, I guess we can work on that,” Simon says. “I’ll probably tell my parents tonight, or later. I don’t know.”

“I get it - it’s scary,” Bram says. “I was thinking of telling my dad during our Hotel Hanukkah. It’s a thing we do every year during the holidays.”

“You’re Jewish?” Simon says, surprised. He hadn’t expected that, but it somehow feels very _Bram_. He adds it to the mental list of things he knows about Bram - cute, plays soccer, divorced parents, loves halloween ores, black, and now Jewish.

“Yeah, and black,” Bram says. “Also Gay. Is that a problem?”

“Of course not,” Simon replies. “I like you - all of you.”

Bram sighs. “It’s nice to hear you say it. I like you too,” Bram says. “In case the message hasn’t been clear enough already.”

Simon feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest, but this time it isn’t from fear - just the sheer amount of happiness he’s feeling.

“I’m so glad you’re Blue,” Simon says honestly.

“I was kind of hoping it was you, before all of this,” Bram says.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, you know I’ve had a crush on you for ages,” Bram says. “It’s why I never spoke much around you. Cute boys always get me tongue-tied.”

“You weren’t shy at the party,” Simon says.

“I guess I was feeling a little brave. And a bit drunk,” Bram says. “I don’t regret it, though.”

“I’m glad you did it,” Simon says. “We’re definitely repeating that sometime.”

Bram laughs. “I think I can live with that.”

//

“We need to do something about Martin,” Abby says as soon as she gets into the car on the way to school.

“Agreed,” Nick says. “I don’t want that asshole to think he can get away with it.”

“Definitely,” Leah adds. “We’re all here for you Simon.”

Simon feels a warmth spread in his chest. He was glad his friends had decided to be so loyal now. Coming out, he felt like there was nothing between them now - he didn’t have to hide anymore. The truth could just come out, and he didn’t need to censor himself.

It was a surreal realisation. No longer did he have to worry about hiding this part of himself, and he wonders how he thought he could just run away from it until college.  

“You don’t have to do anything,” he replies.

“We do - I’m not gonna sit by and let Martin do this to you,” Abby says.

“How would you even do it? He could just out me,” Simon says. “He knows it’s true.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Abby says. “He like me, right? Well, I’m going to talk to him.”

“Are you sure that won’t get him to post everything?” Simon asks.

“I'll make sure of it,” Abby says fiercely.

They walk into the school, and Simon feels like he can stand a little taller with his friends by his side. They walk either side of him - Abby and Nick on one side, holding hands (apparently they’d gotten together the day before after Simon’s coming out. He couldn’t have been happier for them), and Leah on the other. It makes him feel invincible.

He notices Martin as they’re walking to his locker. Simon feels a rush of anger, seeing him there.

“There he is,” Abby says. “Wait here.”

She walks over to Martin casually, as if it’s just any other day. Martin brightens when he notices her coming over.

“Hey Abby,” Martin says, all confident. Simon feels his hands curl into fists. If he was at all the violent type, he might have decked the guy. “How are you this fine day?”

“So, Martin,” Abby says. “I heard about what you’re doing to Simon.”

Martin goes pale. “I,” he says, suddenly at a loss for words. Simon can’t help but smile a little at seeing the look on Martin’s face.

“You need to delete those screenshots,” Abby says. “For real, not faking out. Because if you release them, then I’ll know who did it.”

“I just wanted you to like me,” Martin says, looking down.

“You can’t make anyone like you,” Abby says. “And you certainly shouldn’t have done that to Simon.”

“I thought we could help each other out,” he says. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“If you’d released them, it could’ve hurt Simon. You’re just lucky I found out about it first.”

“Nobody does that shit anymore,” Martin replies weakly.

Abby gives him a look. “If you get anywhere near him, I’ll personally set the entire soccer team on you. My boyfriend will be happy to do it.”

Martin looks like he’s about to throw up. “I wasn’t going to do anything,” he argues weakly.

“I don’t believe that,” Abby says. “Now, you’re going to delete those screenshots right now. If you have any copies, delete those too.”

“I - I will,” Martin says and fumbles with his phone, almost dropping it twice. He holds up the phone and shows Abby as he deletes the images. “It’s done.”

“Good. I’m glad we understand each other,” Abby says. “And for the record, nobody falls for guys who blackmail people.”

Martin has a weird expression on his face - it's not unlike the one he had on Halloween right before he was puking on Simon's shirt.

Simon almost felt bad, but that feeling is overshadowed by how good it feels to see Martin being exposed. He wants to find Bram, to tell him it's all over, but he's pretty sure if he sees Bram now he'll have difficulty restraining himself.

Abby turns away from Martin and walks back to the group. Nick immediately grabs her and kisses her cheek. Abby blushes at the contact.

“That was amazing!” Leah says.

“Thanks,” Simon says. He feels a little choked up - he can’t believe how good his friends are.

“Come on, let’s get to class,” Abby says, looping her arm through Simon’s.

//

_Simon Spier_

5 mins

I’ve been thinking a lot about secrets lately - and all the reasons I’ve been avoiding saying certain things. Sometimes I think maybe it doesn’t matter, that it’s unfair I need to say any of it, but I think now I’m just tired of hiding who I am:

I’m gay.

I know not everyone is going to accept it, but I’m done pretending I’m someone I’m not. I’m gay, and I’m not ashamed of it.

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//

Simon takes a deep breath and hits post. Beside him, Bram kisses his cheek.

“I'm proud of you,” he says.

Simon blushes. “I have you to thank for that,” Simon says.

Bram smiles back at him and leans in for a kiss. Simon responds enthusiastically, enjoying the moment. He's kind of glad he hasn't told his parents yet, just so he gets this moment. They won't be back until later, and Nora's off at a friend's house until dinner. So, he was more than happy to take advantage of an empty house with his boyfriend under the guise of “homework”. Which they were doing earlier, for about five minutes (it still counted, right?). Before he can think about it too much more, Bram starts kissing Simon's neck and Simon stops thinking altogether.

“I'm so glad I have you,” Bram says in between kisses. Simon’s hands tighten on Bram’s hips, curling his fingers into his boyfriend’s shirt.

“You're telling me,” Simon replies a little breathlessly. He can barely focus on forming proper sentences while there's Bram's mouth on his neck to think about.

Suddenly, Simon's phone rings and he's pulled out of the moment. He curses and picks it up, glancing at the contact on screen.

“It's Leah, she wants to FaceTime,” Simon says and shifts his phone so Bram's out of view. He figures it's better if Leah finds out about him and Bram later, not while they're lying in bed together.

“You did it!” Leah says when Simon picks up. He angles the phone so Leah can't see Bram lying beside him. They hadn’t really discussed telling people yet, and as much Simon wants to show Bram off, he decides it’s probably better to talk before he does anything. He doesn’t want to out anyone.

“Yeah, I did,” Simon says with a smile.

“I'm so proud of you,” Leah says. “I'll probably do it sometime too. Show my support.”

“Wow, really?” Simon says.

“Yeah, I think I'm ready,” Leah says. “But, anyway, how goes it with your mystery guy?”

Simon blushes. “Um, pretty good I'd say,” he says and glances over at Bram. Bram gives him a grin.

“Is he with you now?” Leah says. “Or am I going to have to wait to meet him?”

Simon glances over at Bram, who nods. “You’ll see him tomorrow,” Simon promise.

“I'll look forward to it,” Leah says. “Bye Simon.”

“Bye,” he says and hangs up, then turns to Bram. “Wanna ride this bravery train and come out to my parents when they get back?”

Bram laughs. “Won't they have something to say about us being alone together?”

“They'll get over it,” Simon says. “I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission.”

“If you're sure,” Bram says. “I can't wait to meet them.”

“I can't wait for them to meet you too,” Simon says, leaning in to give Bram another kiss.

//

Simon comes out later that night - sitting with Bram on the couch in the living room. It’s one of the most nerve-wracking moments of his life, but with Bram beside him, he feels like he can do anything.

His parents, naturally, are a little over the top (his mom tries to psychoanalyse him, dad makes an awkward comment about signing up for Grindr together which is an idea gets quickly shut down), but Simon knows they love him. Both of them give him a hug and then tell Bram they're happy Simon's happy, but are definitely talking about boundaries later.

Nora takes it well too - she smiles at Simon, gives him a hug and tells Bram to let her know if he has any allergies or dietary needs so she can adapt her cooking if needs be. It’s sweet, and Simon gives her a hug, even though they’re not usually the type to be that physically affectionate.

It's kind of perfect - Simon feels a new sense of lightness, like he'd been holding his breath and could finally, finally exhale and let all that weight go.

“You know, that went a lot better than I thought it would,” Simon says after it’s done. He and Bram are sitting out the back at night on the grass, looking up at the night sky. It’s perhaps the most relaxed he’s felt in a very, very long time.

“You expected worse?”

“I thought they’d be more obnoxious,” Simon says. “But it was good.”

“I think we should come out at school - you know,” Bram says. “I don’t want to hide.”

“Do you want to say anything?” Simon asks. “Make a post?”

“I figure we’d just show up,” Bram says. “People can say what they want.”

“Are you worried at all?” Simon says. Bram’s always seemed like a private person, and he’s surprised at the choice. As Blue, Bram had never seemed inclined to come out at school.

“No,” Bram says. “I mean, I’ve thought about it, and why waste time? It’s senior year.”

“That is a good point,” Simon says. He’d been so afraid of change before but now he’s starting to see that maybe he was just wasting time before. Sure, he’s always worried about backlash, but it’s not like he’ll be alone. He had his friends. He has Bram. He has everything he needs now, and damn all the rest.

“So, you want to do it?” Bram asks.  

“Of course,” Simon says, threading his fingers through Bram’s.

//

Simon picks up his friends like usual on his way to school, but this time instead of driving off from Abby’s house, he has one more stop.

“Please don’t make a big deal about this,” Simon says, heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest. It’s not like his friend haven’t met Bram before, but this is something new.

“Wait - is this where I think we’re going?” Nick asks as Simon pulls into Bram’s street. Simon doesn’t answer - he and Bram wanted this to be a surprise.

He pulls up to Bram’s house and honks the horn once. Out the door comes Bram, smiling brightly.

“It’s Bram!” Abby says excitedly.

“Wow,” Leah says.

“I knew it!” Nick says. “I’m happy for you, dude.”

He gives Simon a clap on the back from the back seat. Leah moves out of the front seat and gets in beside Abby in the back. Simon shoots her a smile, and she nods at him in the mirror.

“Hey,” Bram says when he gets into the car. He gives Simon a quick kiss when he’s in.

“So, you’re dating Simon now?” Nick asks.

“Yeah,” Bram says shyly, but he’s smiling.

“Good,” Nick says with a nod. “Don't break his heart.”

“I won't,” Bram says, and glances at Simon, his smile wide and bright. Simon decides right them that Bram’s smile is the best thing he’s ever seen.

His friends cheer, and Simon rolls his eyes at them, but he's smiling. He feels a rush of affection for them all once again - all that unwavering support and kindness feels like one of the best gifts in the universe. He couldn’t ask for better friends.

“Don't mind them, you know how they are,” Simon says to Bram.

“I think I can live with that,” Bram replies.

“You know everyone on creek secrets is gonna be posting about this all day?” Leah says. “Are you worried at all?”

“I figure I can deal with it,” Simon says confidently. “I’ve got you guys. Now, who wants iced coffee?”

//

 _Simon Spier_ is with _Bram Greenfeld_

2 Hours Ago

In a relationship with _Bram Greenfeld_

October 31 2017

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**Author's Note:**

> Totally didn't expect to write this one, but I started writing that first scene on a whim and then it kind of just became this big monster of a fic bc I wanted to dig a bit deeper into what happened after the initial kiss.
> 
> Shout out to wyd-boo and genderrfluidharry on tumblr for the beta reading - you're both legends!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [agentalien](http://agentalien.tumblr.com)


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